Compromise....

When Jon and I started dating we lived in two separate cities about an hour and a half apart. We realized then that if we liked each other enough we would have to make some compromises. So….we took turns. One weekend at my place, the next weekend at his. When things became a little more serious and we wanted to see each other more often than weekends, he would come to my city on a weekday and the next week I would travel to his town during the middle of the week. Compromise.  The one thing I've learned in the almost 14 years together is that he and I, both, are constantly making compromises for each other.  I don't say this with negativity.  Instead, I say it with pride.  I feel certain that compromise is one of the reasons we work so well together.   We love each other enough to realize what is more important to each of us individually and to realize what is most important to us both....as a married couple.  Over the years we've made many compromises.....

• Do we keep the television on all night long like he prefers or do we keep the room dark and quiet like I want it?  Yes....to both.  We do keep it on, but with no volume and if the light bothers me, I can always wear an eye-mask like Eva Gabor did on Green Acres.
• Did we move back to Columbia because I was homesick for friends, family, and shopping near by?  Yes....even though Jon thought living in Beaufort was the 'bees knees' and he was in absolute fishing heaven.
• Does Jon let me rearrange the furniture every other month?  Yes....even though he bumps into things or has to sit "crooked" in his chair until I move it again.
• Do we eat at the table every night like I prefer or do we sit in front of the television while we eat?  In front of the television....because he likes TV trays and I've learned it gives me a chance to catch up with my favorite shows on the DVR.
• Do we have a zillion flowers in the yard?  Yes....because even though I hate to water them, I love to look at them.  And....Jon loves me enough to water them for me.
• Do we argue over cleaning the house or how to do chores?  No...because we split up responsibilities and we both know that we have to do them or else.  Or else...they just don't get done.
• Does Jon let me paint the rooms of our house like a crayon box....even though some of the colors have made us both want to scream, pull our hair out, or puke?  Yes....because he wants me to be happy making our house a home and he knows I'll re-paint again soon.
• Does it drive me nuts that his dirty clothes rarely make it all of the way into the basket?  Yes...but I pick them up anyway, because I'd rather have them hanging over the side of the basket or laying on the floor than not have them at all.

As you can see...most of the things that I mentioned above are small and simple things.  The little stuff.  But that's the beauty of it....those small and simple things help us to communicate, have taught us to listen, and give us the ability to never take each other for granted.  Its because of these small compromises in our life, that make it easy to deal with the big issues.  And we do so very well....we resolve the big things together!

Now, most of you who know me, know that I am very opinionated, stubborn, and have the knack of sticking my foot in my mouth.  So....I try to take the things I've learned from the successful compromises Jon and I make in our marriage into the other relationships that I have in my life.  I'll be honest, sometimes its hard....I cannot communicate as well with some other people.  But - through my lessons of compromise -that's when I step back and try to see the other person's point of view.  And then I compromise. 

It makes all the difference in the world....